Nobody ever said life is fair

It's never been said, because everybody knows it's true. Life is not fair. That's just a fact. But what can we do?

We have to become tough. You have to know that not everybody is gonna look out for you, but rather, you must learn to look out for yourself. Stand up for yourself. Nobody else will-- er very few will ever stand up for you. In my life, there is one example, a man who once stood up for me, and I will never forget it.

I must've been 13 or 14 at most, and upon entering the city bus on my way for school, some weird, perhaps drunken man, starts insulting me as soon as I walk on. I try to ignore him and walk straight, but I am frightened. I go and sit down near the end of the bus, as the man continues his onslaught on me. As I press the ringer when my stop arrives, a gentleman in the seat before me turns and says to me, " if he gets off, I will get off too". Kinder words have never been spoken to me. This man, whomever he was, would jeopardize his safety, for me.

I was in a state of complete bafflement, and perhaps he sensed my fear of the crazy man, who had it out for me ever since I stepped onto that bus. Nevertheless, I got off the bus, with no one behind me. I continued walking towards school, in that same state of puzzlement.

That was my life. I always was talked down to by my dad, and I had to just take it. It created a cycle of non action; anytime somebody would put me down, I would shy away from speaking up, as I did with my dad for so long. I never was at fault, ever. Not one of those times growing up did I deserve to be yelled at and belittled the way I was by my dad, and I never said a thing back, not once. He was an angry good for nothing piece of shit for mistreating his only son like that. He instilled fear in me, because he was very psychotic. I never once thought to do or say something. Life wasn't fair. Although I do remember telling my sisters that when I got older I would punch him out. I didn't realize the damage he was causing in my brain, by witnessing all this traumatization and fear mongering.

Now to this day, this has been a part of me. But times are changing. I am the big boy now, and when people yell at me I don't always shy away into the corner anymore. I am starting to deal with it more appropriately. But when I am in situations that I feel overmatched in, I revert back to that 'tuck tail in between legs' approach.

Case and point today. Ballin at the MAC, the runs started with all ryerson ballers and others who they clearly knew. I got overlooked every single damn time. When I finally got on a team, this other nigga from the losing team jumps in and takes my spot. MY SPOT! A spot I was waiting for such a long time for. I speak up briefly, saying we have 5, and the other teammate also says we have 5. This bitch nigga goes "who?" And he points at me. He goes "nah nah nah". And I walk off the court, like a BITCH.

I was pissed at the sidelines, but the thought never came to me to stand up for myself, fight or no fight. When a nigga step up to ya, u gotta scrap him. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. You don't fear death? Then prove it! Walk in the face of danger and talk it down.

I should of not let him jack me like that, who the fuck is he.

I am scared of no man! I've got to know when I'm in the heart of battle so I can come prepared! When you playing against top competition, you in a battle son! Your in a battle to PROVE YOURSELF. I don't give a fuck if they fooling around, they know each other, I have to earn my respect. You earn respect by not letting people walk all over you!!

So bitch as nigga, you did me a favor. You revitalized the fire within. All them niggaz are done, I'm comin for their heads!! Every Friday eve y'all ball eh? Well guess whose gonna be there next week ready for WAR. I'm not only gonna play, but I'm gonna DOMINATE.

Our Purpose Here On Earth

I think I've done it. I think I've solved the mystery of our existence. Astronomy has always fascinated me. I knew there lie answers in the vastness of our universe, that everything we ever wanted to know was resourced, out there. On this evening, the 9th of Dec 2015 at 6:38, I think I am sound enough in my knowledge of the functioning principles behind our operation to make a bold claim-- a claim to finally answer the age old adage of who we are and why we exist.

Giving the vastness of the universe, a concept I am starting to understand, I think I have a hypothesis:

We don't really die. Well, our bodies may perish, but our essence lives on. We are not our bodies, we are a soul-- a spirit. Our journey cycles from beginning to end, from our births to our deaths, from one galaxy to the next.

If evolution is caused by adaptation to changing environments for the sole purpose of survival, then everything in existence has a purpose. The stars, the galaxies, the universe-- they all have purpose! And purpose for what? For life!

Nature doesn't create waste, everything in nature is biodegradable. Cow dung is an excellent fertilizer! You get that?! Not even poop in nature is a waste. So what the fuck is all that is OUT THERE suppose to be for? Its for life!

Now, why do I think that we are that life that exists out there, as well as here? My answer is quite simple--because we have a soul. A soul doesn't die, it lives on for eternity, in my opinion. We are basically living a simulation; our soul enters our bodies upon conception, from external worlds/galaxies, and experiences the experience: the joys, the sadness, the love, the vulgar, the delicious, the distasteful, and so on.

So do experience it, everything that this physical human body has to offer; all the sensations, all the extasy, soak it all in, because one day you will shift out of this body and this planet, and into a whole 'nother realm.

Enjoy every single day, learn and grow, be an uplifting presence; be the light you wanna see in the world. Love, and be loved. Make the most of your experience, strive for greatness, and give.

This body is malleable, it is not one unit, but comprised of 50 trillion cells all working simultaneously. Science is proving that the influencer of our biological being lies outside the physical, in essence, that we are controlled by our mind, AKA the soul--the spirit.

I think it becomes quite obvious that we are but a soul. Take care of it, nourish it with meditation, and enlighten it with Earthly experiences, while you can.

Namaste, y'all :)

Why I need to be 6'1"

I have an insatiable desire to be in the NBA. I've been telling close family and friends since HS; that I am gonna become a professional baller in the NBA. Everybody laughs of course; they do not have the IT factor that I, and all of the greats, do. It's an extreme challenge, a test of your manhood. But I don't want to do it to prove others wrong or to put them down, I want to do it for my own sanity. I cannot, simply cannot be average. It drives me nuts to be a part of the group and not the leader; and it's not an egotistical thing, trust me; it's what I have inside me, and to let "it" flounder would be a huge travesty, knowing how rare it is. Not to mention, I just know that it is a gift I was given; and I say gift because I've always had it. When I was a kid, I used to just observe others; they seemed so different from who I was. I felt as if I was light years ahead in terms of maturity; I understood adult problems, I was able to empathize with them. I always felt as if reincarnation was real, and that I had lived prior lives. When I was a youngster, we watched an Indian flick about two brothers who have lived past lives, and I found it so fascinating. To this day I remember watching that film; in a sense, I think I believed it. The subject touched close to heart.

Back to leadership, I feel as if I'm a born leader. In this life, some people follow, and fewer lead. They have vision, or clairvoyance as the French would say. They have an inate ability to delegate responsibilities based on individual strengths-- which they are very acute in recognizing. They have strength of character: honesty, integrity, loyalty. Last but not least, they are fearless. Willingness to sacrifice one's life for the survival of the tribe at large was a very important component of a leader, back in the days of battle. I sincerely feel as if I have each and every one of these characteristics. I do not fear death, because I know our spirits live on. There is no end, only a continuous recycle of life.

So what has held me back, so far, from fulfilling my destiny as an influencer leader? My shyness; which was exasperated through my turbulent upbringing. The fear for safety idolized me; it prevented me from experimenting with life and thereby, debilitating me of the quickest way to learn, through mistake. The power of mistake is enormous as a teaching tool but especially in our youths when we are most impersonable. If at this stage you are taught, or recognize on your own, that making mistakes is not the end of the world, it can lead to leaps and bounds of self actualization and growth. On the other hand, if you are scorned against making any noise (literally and figuratively, in life) or are made to believe that you are worth nothing, and that you are good for nothing, it can cause severe psychological trauma that you may or may not ever overcome in your lifetime. Do you understand the enormality of such a conundrum in one's life?

I have seen first hand many a fellows succumb to being fractions of who they can be, due to certain child traumatization. I recognize them because I am one of them. The proverbial saying, "takes one to know one", certainly holds true. On the surface you may not know what I am fighting, or what I have fought my entire life, but I can assure you it is real. Everyday can be a tug of war, a power struggle determining who wins; you, or that little voice inside your head?

Over the years, as I have grown, I have developed many a coping mechanisms to deal with the overwhelming anxiety and shyness associated with meeting new people or socializing in large, unfamiliar groups. It seems in my particular case the latter was the more deafening in nature to approach, and overcome. Like I said, I'm a natural born leader, so how do I take charge of a group when I am afraid to speak up in front of it? Ah, the challenges of life. Actually, that is how I approach it; as a challenge. I learned to utilize my competitive nature (again, leader quality), to rise above such setbacks. I figured there must be ways for me to overcome these fears, and throughout the years I have found many answers; hypnosis, meditation, learning about psychology and human behavioral patterns, neurology and how our brain wires certain patterns, etc. The more I learned, the more I experimented, and the more I improved. In fact, I am proud to say I am more comfortable in dealing with all the things that challenged me earlier in life, than the average person is. I've developed keen receptors for reading human beings much better than I used to. Essentially, that's what I did, I studied humans. And still do to this day; there is much more I want to accomplish with this. I finally understand the mechanisms of the brain and how it is influenced by the mind. A big thank you to M.D Deepak Chopra for that.

So in a nutshell, ya I really do think I'm gonna make it. I feel I'm on the doorsteps about to knock on the door to my dreams. And the best part is, all of my experiences continue to add up in this unbelievable journey of life we are on. That is the secret. Life is a journey; it matters not what you are born with or where you start from, all that matters is how you finish. Are you exuberant, full of life, knocking down dream after dream? If not, you need to shift your paradigm of existence. Shift your vibrancy to one that is joyous and opportunistic, because you never know what is waiting for you around the corner.

Live free & take care people!

People don't have my Strength

The majority of people don't have my strength. They haven't gone thru what I've gone thru, and still stand tall. And now, I'm gonna prove it. I'm gonna capitalize on my knowledge of hypnosis and use it effectively to grow to 6'1", then subsequently check mark every single goal I have in my life. When I am done with it, when it's all said and done, they will recognize me as one of the Greatest Of All Time. #GOAT

The Great Human Allusion

We are all afraid. From our births, we are taught to be afraid. Be afraid of the hot fire; be afraid of that sharp object; be afraid of the dark. The problem is, too many of us allow ourselves to maintain in that detrimental state of mind. We don't grow out of it. As a result, we grow up in a completely defensive state of being. I know what your thinking however (if your on track), and that is that this is a simple result of biological evolution; and to that, I say, your right. Absolutely evolution brought us here, however the irony of the whole thing does not fail. The same defensive mechanism built into our minds from basic experimental actions that taught us the dangers of life, are still instilled in us! One thing we can all agree on is that evolution occurs at a very slow rate; it takes millions of years for the smallest thing to adapt and change. Humans are no exception. In such a fashion we got here, and in such a fashion we go on; one tiny, minuscule step at a time. But I digress. So basically, we have been conditioned to fear things. And why not? Fear got us here. It taught us what is safe and what isn't. The problem is, in today's society--in the first nations of this world, what do we need to be afraid of? All of our basic needs are met. We have food in abundance, to the point where our main problem is being overweight rather than starvation, as the case in third worlds. Check. Next is our shelter, which again is not a problem. And of course have plenty of fresh, clean, drinkable water. So even with these basic needs being met, we still hold back and live with as little ambition as possible. We lead unchallenged, uninspired, mundane lives. Safe lives. Cowardly lives. I say 'we', as in the collective majority of human beings. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, with undeniable confidence, that I do not belong to the aforementioned majority. The journey to this conclusion has been 25 years in the making. It wasn't all flowers and rainbows either, there was some serious soul searching. However, the end result (so far) is an abundance of raw, unfiltered confidence. I am not afraid of some artificial threat that my brain has created, as it's designed to do. I understand our psyche, as a specie. Our single objective, by natures design, is not to necessarily enjoy the quality of life, but rather to adhere to our most basic impulse; to stay alive. Thus, by design we are born to be risk-averse. Those who are born with an intellect wise enough to understand this enjoy lives the likes of which the average can only dream of. I now have goals and aspirations that are truly unhindered by the doubt cast upon oneself by society, as I've come to grips with the Truth...... I guess you'd like to know what that Truth really is, if you've not figured it out already. It all comes back down to fear. The Truth is that we are afraid of chasing our dreams; afraid of the uncertain, and definitely of the unknown. That is absolute, and it is universal. That is why it's a capital T. However, this fear is completely unfounded. Our primal days are behind us, and yes our primal fears of food, shelter, clothing are also behind us (in the first world at least), but it appears that we have replaced those fears with newer, more trivial ones; comprised as a whole (as there are many different branches of it), it is the fear of judgement; the juggernaut of all fears. It is unbelievable how much we constraint ourselves because of the possible reaction or judgement of others, be it logical or not. See it for yourself in your own personal life, and you'll be amazed at how rampant and conditional our behaviour is upon others' and their perceived reaction. See that's where the game throws a wrench into things; Perception is reality. However, one has to keep in mind that this saying maintains harmony if and only if it is observed within the Laws of Nature. We cannot change the Laws of Physics simply by changing our perception. Seriously; I've tried it (haha). However our perception of what others think, especially of ourselves, is often wrong. And in fact, how they actually perceive us, good or bad, is completely in our control! That is why I work on myself, and that is why I present the image that I do; because I want the same image reflected back to me.

To Be Continued... (Thoughts from 2012)