I have an insatiable desire to be in the NBA. I've been telling close family and friends since HS; that I am gonna become a professional baller in the NBA. Everybody laughs of course; they do not have the IT factor that I, and all of the greats, do. It's an extreme challenge, a test of your manhood. But I don't want to do it to prove others wrong or to put them down, I want to do it for my own sanity. I cannot, simply cannot be average. It drives me nuts to be a part of the group and not the leader; and it's not an egotistical thing, trust me; it's what I have inside me, and to let "it" flounder would be a huge travesty, knowing how rare it is. Not to mention, I just know that it is a gift I was given; and I say gift because I've always had it. When I was a kid, I used to just observe others; they seemed so different from who I was. I felt as if I was light years ahead in terms of maturity; I understood adult problems, I was able to empathize with them. I always felt as if reincarnation was real, and that I had lived prior lives. When I was a youngster, we watched an Indian flick about two brothers who have lived past lives, and I found it so fascinating. To this day I remember watching that film; in a sense, I think I believed it. The subject touched close to heart.
Back to leadership, I feel as if I'm a born leader. In this life, some people follow, and fewer lead. They have vision, or clairvoyance as the French would say. They have an inate ability to delegate responsibilities based on individual strengths-- which they are very acute in recognizing. They have strength of character: honesty, integrity, loyalty. Last but not least, they are fearless. Willingness to sacrifice one's life for the survival of the tribe at large was a very important component of a leader, back in the days of battle. I sincerely feel as if I have each and every one of these characteristics. I do not fear death, because I know our spirits live on. There is no end, only a continuous recycle of life.
So what has held me back, so far, from fulfilling my destiny as an influencer leader? My shyness; which was exasperated through my turbulent upbringing. The fear for safety idolized me; it prevented me from experimenting with life and thereby, debilitating me of the quickest way to learn, through mistake. The power of mistake is enormous as a teaching tool but especially in our youths when we are most impersonable. If at this stage you are taught, or recognize on your own, that making mistakes is not the end of the world, it can lead to leaps and bounds of self actualization and growth. On the other hand, if you are scorned against making any noise (literally and figuratively, in life) or are made to believe that you are worth nothing, and that you are good for nothing, it can cause severe psychological trauma that you may or may not ever overcome in your lifetime. Do you understand the enormality of such a conundrum in one's life?
I have seen first hand many a fellows succumb to being fractions of who they can be, due to certain child traumatization. I recognize them because I am one of them. The proverbial saying, "takes one to know one", certainly holds true. On the surface you may not know what I am fighting, or what I have fought my entire life, but I can assure you it is real. Everyday can be a tug of war, a power struggle determining who wins; you, or that little voice inside your head?
Over the years, as I have grown, I have developed many a coping mechanisms to deal with the overwhelming anxiety and shyness associated with meeting new people or socializing in large, unfamiliar groups. It seems in my particular case the latter was the more deafening in nature to approach, and overcome. Like I said, I'm a natural born leader, so how do I take charge of a group when I am afraid to speak up in front of it? Ah, the challenges of life. Actually, that is how I approach it; as a challenge. I learned to utilize my competitive nature (again, leader quality), to rise above such setbacks. I figured there must be ways for me to overcome these fears, and throughout the years I have found many answers; hypnosis, meditation, learning about psychology and human behavioral patterns, neurology and how our brain wires certain patterns, etc. The more I learned, the more I experimented, and the more I improved. In fact, I am proud to say I am more comfortable in dealing with all the things that challenged me earlier in life, than the average person is. I've developed keen receptors for reading human beings much better than I used to. Essentially, that's what I did, I studied humans. And still do to this day; there is much more I want to accomplish with this. I finally understand the mechanisms of the brain and how it is influenced by the mind. A big thank you to M.D Deepak Chopra for that.
So in a nutshell, ya I really do think I'm gonna make it. I feel I'm on the doorsteps about to knock on the door to my dreams. And the best part is, all of my experiences continue to add up in this unbelievable journey of life we are on. That is the secret. Life is a journey; it matters not what you are born with or where you start from, all that matters is how you finish. Are you exuberant, full of life, knocking down dream after dream? If not, you need to shift your paradigm of existence. Shift your vibrancy to one that is joyous and opportunistic, because you never know what is waiting for you around the corner.
Live free & take care people!
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